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Aug 27

Risky Information

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Photo Credit: Jeff Raymond via Sketch Guru

Photo Credit: Jeff Raymond via Sketch Guru

It feels like the biggest risk I can take.  I carry the regret of my failure, the weak place in my life that I wish would just go away.

It reminds me of how I always felt like my life just seemed to exist on the margins.  While everyone else seems to have it together, down inside, I know I really don’t.

Because there’s this thing I struggle with, and if someone really knew, their response will verify my greatest fear.

I’m a failure.  A fake.  I am flawed.

So for a while, I keep working the mask.  Adjusting it to make sure it fits well over what I must hide.  The smile, the pose that says I have things together in my life better than I really do.

But oh how tired this makes me.  This mask wearing.  This pretending.

It’s exhausting, and not working.  There’s got to be a better way.

Suddenly that hope stirs that the risk may be worth it.  I look at my friend, and wonder if he can handle what makes me feel defective.  He’s shared his struggles.  Maybe I can tell him mine.

Heart beating, palms sweating, I take the leap.

He listens.  He hears.  Genuinely.  Welcoming the new information.  Without a beat.

Grace flows, and shows that my flaw is just that. 

A flaw.  And I am not.

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  • Rick Theule

    Jeff – Thanks for “stepping out of the boat” and sharing. I’m looking forward to hearing more of your story and walking beside you.

    • Jeff

      Rick, it’s mutual. Thanks, brother!

  • Jeremy Plevka

    Jeff – thank you for the post. This has spoken to me, I am wiping the sweat from my palms and welcoming the Grace. Thank You!

    • Julie Raymond

      Yeah!! Love it!! Thanks for risking with me in sharing and for the Grace you have showed me! I love you and can’t wait to see what God has in store for us! The best, on this earth, is yet to come! I love you!

      • Jeff

        Thanks sweet lady of grace. I am better for it, and love you too!

    • Jeff

      Jeremy, it was great getting to know you yesterday. Honored. Let’s chat again soon.

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  • Will Irish

    Authenticity. What a powerful word. It’s a state in which I’m most desperate for Grace, and even more, it provides my soul a squinted glimpse into how grateful I am or should be, for Grace. Well written Jeff.

    • Will, thanks for sharing what grace means to you.